Ova Achiever

I have been a bit MIA for a while. You may…or may not…have noticed. Aside from one lonely post in January and a binge of two posts in one particularly productive week in February, there just hasn’t been much writing going on here at Woodhaven. It’s not that there wasn’t anything to write about. Indeed, there has been quite a bit about which I could have rambled and mused. But I wasn’t ready to share yet. I think I finally am. We’ll see how it goes.

On January 27th, I had a surgery. It had been pondered for at least 6 months, discussed quietly for at least 4 months, and decided and scheduled for a month and a half prior to The Big Day. Only Rob…and then my doctor…knew about it for most of that time.

I found myself really not wanting to talk about it, as I seemed to be uncharacteristically nervous and talking about it just made the new-to-me anxiety tons worse. I also didn’t really want to explain all the particulars because, well, it was one of those sorta private girly surgeries. And who wants to talk about that?

OK, enough beating around the bush. I had a hysterectomy. Weeeee!

The reason for the surgery wasn’t anything particularly alarming. I had just had quite enough of the increasingly annoying and odd side effects of a certain permanent birth control device that Erin Brockovich is all excited about. I can essure you, the device is not all it was promised to be. I’m blaming the nickel. And perhaps a long undetected allergy to it.

The only way to remove the intruder my body was slowly rebelling against was to take some body parts with it. Since I had abandoned the intended use of those body parts with the decision to get the device in the first place, having the parts gone for good was really no big deal. And honestly, six weeks of lounging around in yoga pants while sipping tea and watching past episodes of “Sister Wives” sounded rather heavenly.

But, well, things haven’t gone quite as swimmingly as expected.

The surgery itself went just fine. No complications other than the on-the-spot decision to remove one ovary. I saw the laparoscopic photo of the poor little thing covered in cysts. Its removal was a very good idea. Besides which, I have been assured my one remaining ovary is sufficient for providing the needed hormones to keep things going until nature decides it’s time for A Change. We'll see about that.

You see, the challenge with this hysterectomy thing has not been the physical part. Honestly, with two spinal fusions as my benchmark for what a surgery entails, this has been a tea party. I haven’t really been in much pain (well, that my brain recognizes – yay for whacked out pain tolerance!), and I haven’t had to live with any severe restrictions for very long. Lucky for me, the warnings not to lift things or bend too much or drive too far are all things I already live with on a daily basis with my back issues. And I don’t swim very often and I prefer showers over baths. So a week or so of needing Rob’s help to get dressed was really the biggest imposition to my daily life. And that wasn’t really much of an imposition. Ahem.

People keep telling me that a hysterectomy is a Major Surgery but I still can’t really wrap my head around that. So I had some organs removed. Big deal. It’s not like I have another long scar on my spine or have added any titanium to my internal collection. I didn’t even get sent home with a walker or a custom-made brace. Surgery shmurgery.

Well, the joke’s on me. Because it turns out that the real challenge with this hysterectomy deal is the dancing hormones. That wasn’t part of my back surgeries so naturally it shouldn’t be a part of this one, right? Nobody really prepared me for this little emotion-packed adventure. But honestly, I wasn’t asking either. With the plan to keep both ovaries, it never occurred to me that my body might need some time to hormonally figure out a new normal.

I have since learned that even with both ovaries left in place, the body’s hormone system can go all haywire for several…months?!?…after a hysterectomy. Awesome! Lucky me! Lucky Rob!

So this is why I haven’t felt like writing much lately. I wasn’t sure what would come out of the keyboard, plus I have been so much in my head it’s been hard to see a way out. However, I am cheered that I now seem to be having more good days than weird ones. And I am definitely getting better at just riding the waves of ridiculousness instead of fixating on them. Victory (and rejoicing) at Woodhaven!

God and estrogen willing, I will be a bit more chatty in the coming weeks. I have missed writing. Or, more honestly, the desire to write. But I am encouraged that I wanted to write today and that no tears or adrenaline rushes were involved. Thank God!

My new uterus enjoying a beautiful spring day
(pillow courtesy of Rob and his mad Googling skillz)